New Seating Chart

A new seating chart was announced today. I was even given a copy of the chart with my name right where I sit.


I circled my name and wrote down "ME" in red; in the unlikely event that I forget where I sit and so I always know where I am at.


I'm wondering; does everyone have seating arrangements everywhere?
Is this some sort of corporate policy?
I mean shouldn't we be defaulted into any random desk or office that makes most sense or what first becomes available?


I remember when I first started in this department six years ago. The head of the department appointed the popular girl to concoct create the seating arrangement.


She sat me in the corner. With a pillar in my cubicle; probably to obstruct their my view.


And now, six years later... we have about ten different faces in the department. People are coming and going and subsequently it causes shifts and "creates" job openings.


(Speaking of which; a position just opened up and I'm hoping and praying that some weirdo doesn't get the job. Keeping my fingers crossed).


So same faces, different teams and apparently now... a new seating arrangement.

Ugh.

So why do I care anyway?

Because.

I was fine sitting by the people I sat by; even that took some getting used to.

And now... I have to get used to sitting by a new neighbor, because someone else got moved.

So I'm nervous. I'm anticipating. I'm anxious.

Will there be weird noises?
Will my new neighbor eat obnoxiously loud like a former neighbor I sat next to?
Will I notice if she takes ten breaks a day?
Should I care?
What if she notices the three bathroom breaks I take in a day?
Should I tell her why I'm leaving everytime I leave my desk; or is that none of her business?
Is she going to say good morning to me every single morning?
Am I supposed to say it back and smile and ask her how her evening was?
Will she get the hint to stop all the "good morning" nonsense if I turn away and hope she doesn't catch me rolling my eyes?
Will she tell me I'm cute every.single.day and if so can I tell her to stop?
Will I have to share stories with her?
Does she have weird stories to share with me?
Will I have to hear all about her personal life?
What if I don't want to know anything more about her than I already know?
What if her boss is looking for her?
Should I cover for her or continue to be the completely honest employee I've been?
Will I confuse her if I listen to Dave Ramsey religiously and then later on jam to Michael Jackson and Britney?
Will she think we're going to be best friends?
What if she's going somewhere fantastic for lunch and I can't leave because I'm overwhelmed with work, should I be friends just in case so I can ask her to get me something?
Is that wrong?
If I bring in two donuts will she think the other one is for her?
Will she ask to borrow my mug and if she does should I allow her to?


So many questions I have.


I should print this questionnaire and ask for answers promptly to make this transition easier on both of us; however the company is attempting at going paperless by the end of 2014... so I'm sure they'll appreciate an email instead.

But how do I know know if she got my email or if she disabled her return receipt response?

I'll just quietly hope for the best I suppose.